I pretend to agree with everyone that you are a complete jerk for constantly trying to hurt others feelings or embarrass them. But secretly, I think you are hilarious and enjoy every moment of humiliation that you subject upon people.

You are way ahead of your time.

Did I ever tell you, you have really good complexion?

You are the greatest magician alive!

You remind me of Wolverine because you: have healing powers, block those that try to read your mind, intelligent, rebellious, different, mentor friends, suppress memories, lack emotions and bite.

Every time I look at you on Facebook it is a constant reminder of how I tried to get on you that one time and you turned me down.

Anders: your sarcasm is what I love about you. That and your enormous shlong.

If you don’t start telling the truth I’m coming to Iowa and shooting you with my bow and arrow.

You… smoked…. out… of…. your…. hand. What the fuck? You blew my mind and didn’t even get that fucked by fire.

I want to kill you then make sweet passionate love to you.